How to get over a fight with your EX!
Christmas break for the kids in 2010. I had the opportunity to travel out of town with them but the problem was it wasn’t my holiday to myself, I split it with my ex/co-parent.
So I did what any irrational coparent would do, I text and asked. I asked for more a substantial amount of time over the holidays. He said no with no room for negotiating.
I got salty real fast. Didn’t text much that whole winter break. Didn’t share pictures. Didn’t talk on drop off or pick up. It was so childish. I let my own personal needs go ahead of his and the kids. I ruined that Christmas break.
Now that I am years away from that experience I learned I would handle things differently. I would follow this basic strategy during or after a fight!
Strategies:
- FOCUS ON KIDS: Stick to what really matters, them.
- LOSE YOUR ATTITUDE: drop it, it isn’t helping
- FIND THE TRIGGER: Look at what caused the fight, the delivery or the reaction and by whom
- GIVE IT TIME: it can heal a lot of issues
- APOLOGIZE: Give one, don’t wait on one or demand one
Bonus: Realize the male perspective of a fight is different than that of a female. Male’s typically don’t need to rehash the argument they can move on quickly. Women tend to want to recognize and rehash the conversation over and over again. Use that information to your advantage.
Visit www.samanthaboss.com for more co-parenting tips.
