Day to Day Decisions for your Child

Every choice matters to your children.

Has your child been acting out at school? Has your child been acting out at home? Has your ex been calling you and complaining about your child's behavior?

I know some don't believe me and I know someone want to do this but it does help to talk to your coparent about the day-to-day decisions you're making for your child. Hear me out.

Children need consistency bottom line I'll say it again children need consistency. Ask any teacher they will tell you a child misbehaves is trying to deal with inconsistency in their life by acting out. That inconsistency can be discipline or reward. Let me explain.

If one parent has a lot of structure with discipline and reward but the other parent has no structure of either this is going to cause conflict with a child. Children want to know where they stand and what the consequences are both positive and negative for their actions. If the households are extreme opposites the child has nowhere to go but to be confused.

Consider making the following things consistent between the two homes if you're having problems with behavior at school or at home with your minor child.

1. BEDTIME Having a consistent window within 30 minutes of each other at each home is a good idea to make sure the child is getting enough rest so they can perform each day. If one parent is doing 10 PM while the other parent is doing 8 PM that's a drastic difference yeah the child is expected to perform the same each day.
2. WAKE-UP Having a child wake up again within a 30 minute window of each home will help with consistency for the child. If one parent is doing a 6 AM wake up while the other parent is waiting until 7:45 AM this can cause huge problems for the child's morning routine.
3. FOOD Keeping track of the foods that your child likes and dislikes is important to share with the other coparent. Keeping track of how much food the child is eating is also important. Snacks are important to include in this dialogue with each parent. One parent might be avoiding sugar snacks while the other parent is loading the child up with sugar before school.
4. DISCIPLINE Having the same discipline structure for the child is so important to their growth and wellbeing. If one parent is a spank her and another parent shows no discipline this again will confuse the child on their consequences in life. School is showing a consistent form of discipline home needs to be consistent as well even if there's two.
5. REWARD Giving the child rewards such as extra screen time or snacks could be your way of showing a reward but if the other house is giving nothing the child again will be confused about consequences and rewards. Get on the same page with what your child enjoys and wants as a reward for their behaviors.
6. LOVE LANGUAGE Love languages can change over time so be consistent with your coparent and keeping each other up-to-date with what is working for showing the love to your child. For example if your child loves physical touch of hugs and kisses on the forehead then express that to your coparent and ask them to do the same at their homes coparents you should be on the same page of knowing what love language your child needs. Love languages can change over time so be consistent with your coparent and keeping each other up-to-date with what is working for showing the love to your child. For example if your child loves physical touch of hugs and kisses on the forehead then express that to your coparent and ask them to do the same at their home.

I hope you found these helpful! For more coparenting tips check out my website: www.samanthaboss.com